Hey Everyone!! :-)
I was watching the Adams Family movies the other day for the umteenzillionth time. You know the ones, from the '90s with Angelica Houston as Morticia Adams. I think they're funny, and I really like their take on the Adams. Why? Because they are unreservedly, unabashedly, unapologetically themselves, with no reservation or artifice. And, yet, they aren't aggressive about it.
What do I mean? Well, if you watch the movies, you'll notice that while all of the Adams are decidedly odd when compared to the rest of the people in the movies, and they clearly don't view the world the same way much of society does, they don't hide or refuse to engage with others, they aren't unkind to others, and they don't insist others conform to their ideals. But they still respond openly and honestly in their interactions with others. They say what they think, they don't mince words or try to hide their true natures, but they don't attempt to make others share their world view.
The Adams don't seek approval or validation from others. The just do what they want, live the way they want, and allow everyone else to do the same. It's a perfect blend of "This is who I am, take me or leave me" and "Live and let live." And I love it. I also think that the rest of us could learn something from the way the Adams approach the world.
It isn't necessary to either remain silent or to gain the approval of others. Are you a little different from those around you? Do you see the world in technicolor while everyone else is stuck in black and white? Are you, perhaps, even a bit...odd? If so, so what? Are you happy with yourself the way you are? If you are, why change or hide? Embrace your oddity, celebrate it even, and allow everyone else the room to do the same.
If people want to talk about you, let them talk. Who cares? They only have power over you if you allow them to. And if you live your life honestly, hiding and holding back nothing, you'll probably experience something else the Adams succeeded at. Family.
Not necessarily blood-relations, the way the Adams had. But if you let your light shine, others of your ilk will find you...or you'll find them. They may not be just like you. If you look at the Adams, they were all weird, but they were weird in their own ways. Other than a general theme of the macabre, they didn't share many common peculiarities. But they allowed each other the space to be who they were and accepted each other for the special, unique weirdos that they were. You can do the same.
When your tribe finds you, or you find them, accept them for who and what they are. Whatever warts they may have, accept them. Whatever beauty they may offer, celebrate it. Be as loyal to your tribe as the Adams family was to each other, and accept their loyalty to you in turn.
Sometimes it seems difficult. If you look around and see others who all seem to have so much in common, while you're on the outside looking in, it can seem impossible. But remember two things. First, you don't know what others are experiencing on the inside, you only see the face they present to the world, which may or may not reflect reality. And second, it doesn't matter.
Other people are who they are, they should live the life that works for them. But that has nothing to do with you. You might feel pressure to conform, but you don't need to yield to it. If the people around you make you feel bad, find other people to be around. Your tribe is out there, you just have to find them. Or be by yourself, if that's what makes you happy. Either way, please yourself and let others do the same. At the end of the day, if your life makes you happy and you aren't hurting anyone, that's all that matters.
Peace!
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