#Agent Thoth's #Personal Log: Day 1345

Hey Everyone! 😊

Agent Thoth discusses more of the trials and tribulations associated with living with hominids. Incidentally, if you've missed Agent Thoth's earlier entries, you can find them here: Thoth's Journal

Department for the Preservation and Confirmation of Intelligent Life (DPCIL)

Agent Thoth's Personal Log

Day Thirteen-Hundred-Forty-Five:

As promised, I have taken the time to compose myself, and I now feel capable of detailing just how infuriating my hominid-servant’s response was to my efforts to convince her to open the door to my domicile. Previously, I explained that it is not her habit to open the door to my domicile during the hours that the light from the local star is not easily visible to hominids at these coordinates. Also, as I have explained before, my hominid-servant cannot be readily swayed from her routine. Please keep these complicating factors in mind when you read this report.

My plan was elegant in its simplicity: I intended to convince my hominid-servant that there was someone or something on the other side of the door, and so induce her to open it to investigate. Once it was open, I planned to dash through the opening and make good my escape. My relative agility in comparison with that of my hominid-servant is such that I am almost always able to evade any rushed attempts on her part to lay hands on me. 

Also, I believed I could use the darkness during this portion of the day, coupled with the difficulties hominids have with seeing in low light levels, as cover for my escape. Which would have given me, at the minimum, several hours before my hominid-servant would be able to make any real effort to recapture me. Alas, I was never able to test this hypothesis.

I began my campaign by staring fixedly at the door and maintaining this posture for more than an hour. I thought, surely, this would be sufficient to pique my hominid-servant’s curiosity and cause her to open said door to investigate the object of my fascination. But, no. Naturally, my hominid-servant was incapable of reacting to my cue like a rational, intelligent creature.

Instead, my hominid-servant completely ignored what I was doing. To be honest, I’m still uncertain as to whether this was deliberate on her part, or if she truly did not notice my apparent fixation. To gain her attention, I then howled at the door as if I expected to engage it in conversation. This, my hominid-servant was unable to ignore, and she approached me to investigate.

This seemed promising to me, and I redoubled my efforts, howling and staring fixedly at the door while pacing in front of it. My hominid-servant did nothing but look at me as if I were the one who was simple. She then placed her hand upon the door, which made me believe that she would open it. But, instead, she shattered my hopes by swooping down and picking me up.

She carried me over to the furniture she prefers to rest herself upon, and cradled me in her arms. And she continued to do this despite my vigorous vocal and physical protestations. I was so disgusted with her response that I nearly deployed the C.L.A.W.S., and only stopped myself from doing so due to the realization that if she retreated to treat the wounds I would inflict, she would never open the door.

My hominid-servant continued to restrain me until I no longer had the strength or energy to resist her, and then she held me closer and began to vocalize nonsense at me in what I believe she considered to be a soothing tone of voice. The fact that I was beyond soothing by any means seemed to completely escape her.

Eventually, I succumbed to the warm, comfortable feeling of lying on her lap, but I consider this more a surrender to the inevitable than a failure to persevere on my part. Obviously, I will have to reflect on this obstacle further and devise an alternate plan for manipulating my hominid-servant’s behavior in the desired fashion.

Drat those hominids! 😉 You may have noticed that Agent Thoth has a new look. I hope you like his new picture as much as I do, but I'd love to hear your thoughts, either way. Feel free to let me know what you think in the comments. 😉 Happy reading, everyone!