#June #Positivity #BlogTour!!! :-)

Hey Everyone!! :-)

It's Monday again, the perfect day for a dose of positivity, in my opinion. ;-) So what to write about? There are so many topics to choose from, all of them worth considering. But I think for my first post for this blog tour, I'd like to talk about words and their power.

I'm an author, so of course words are very important to me, but they are also very easy to take for granted. All of us use hundreds, if not thousands, of words every day, and each one is an opportunity to either lift someone up or tear someone down. Each word we use is a choice, and we all have to think about what choices we are making.

There are good things and bad things about just about every person and situation we encounter, so we have to decide which we will focus on. You're in a hurry and have to go to the bank, but there's a long line. Is this an opportunity to take a deep breath, maybe loosen your shoulders, and take a moment to appreciate the beautiful sunny day you can see through the window? Maybe a moment when you can send a quick text to a friend or a relative telling them you're thinking about them? Or do you choose to use this time to gripe, or even fume silently, over the inefficiency of the bank tellers and the lack of foresight of the bank managers for failing to staff adequately? Either way you're going to be waiting, which choice will make you feel better? Which choice might even make others feel better?

Or how about something we've all probably encountered at one point or another. Your coworker is someone who just rubs you the wrong way. Everything about them seems to be designed specifically to get under your skin. The way they talk, the way they dress, the perfume they wear, the way they organize (or don't organize) their work space, the way they constantly make mistakes, the fact that they are perpetually late, the way they insist on discussing political/religious/etc views with which you vehemently disagree, etc, etc, etc. We've all worked with that person before, right? So what's the best way to respond? One choice would be to constantly complain and criticize the person, gossip behind their back, and generally make sure everyone around knows exactly what we think of that person. Or we could ask ourselves if there's anything, anything at all, about the person that we can respect or find admirable.

Now personally, I can't think of anyone I've ever met who I couldn't find something about them I liked. If you look hard enough, I think it's generally true that everyone will have at least one redeeming quality. You have to work with the person, regardless of the choice you make, so would you prefer to be unhappy or would you prefer to try to find a way to at least be content? Also, think of the other people who have to work with both of you; would you rather be a poison or a balm to your coworkers?

Please don't misunderstand, I'm not suggesting that anyone put up with unethical, dangerous, or illegal behavior from others. Nor am I saying that there aren't times when we have to speak up against something to protect ourselves or others. Obviously, any type of harassment, bullying, or unsafe condition needs to be addressed as quickly as possible. But most of us, most of the time, are only faced with what are, in the grand scheme of things, only minor irritants. So, we can choose to be irritated, or we can choose to look for the silver-lining. Which words we choose to describe the situation (whether we share those words with others or keep them to ourselves) often has a large impact on how we ultimately feel about it.

I won't say happiness is a choice, that's a bit too simplistic and dismissive for my taste, but I will say that the choices we make can often impact the degree of happiness or unhappiness we feel. Everyone has troubles they must deal with, and usually there's not much, if anything, we can do about the situation; the only thing we can effect is how we respond to it. So the question is, which words will you choose today?


***This post is not directed towards anyone who suffers from depression or any other psychiatric disease. If you feel overcome by the difficulties in your life, or unable to deal with your feelings, please contact your physician as soon as possible so that you can receive the medical assistance you need. Mental illness is not a matter of "mind over matter" or "will-power," any more than physical illness is. There is no shame, and it is not a sign of weakness, for someone who is ill to go to a doctor, so please seek the help you need. If you had cancer, you wouldn't try to just "be happy" and expect it to go away, depression is no different. It is a disease, and there are effective treatments for it, but it requires the intervention of a professional. Please don't suffer in silence, help is available.