#Agent Thoth's #Personal Log: Day 1195

Hey Everyone! :-)

Agent Thoth discusses more of the trials and tribulations associated with living with hominids. Incidentally, if you've missed Agent Thoth's earlier entries, you can find them here: Thoth's Journal

Department for the Preservation and Confirmation of Intelligent Life (DPCIL)

Agent Thoth's Personal Log

Day Eleven-Hundred-Ninety-Five:

I believe I have contracted a communicable pathogenic microbe, though I cannot imagine from where, as I have very little contact with anyone beyond the other residents of my domicile. As a result of this malady, I have engaged in repeated, spontaneous, and involuntary sternutation, and this fact has me most perturbed. It is a most disconcerting sensation. I would blame my young compatriot; however, this disorder began with me before migrating to him. Ergo, there is only one possible culprit remaining. My hominid-servant must be responsible for this indignity.

Well, how rude! ;-) You may have noticed that Agent Thoth has a new look. I hope you like his new picture as much as I do, but I'd love to hear your thoughts, either way. Feel free to let me know what you think in the comments. ;-) Happy reading, everyone!

First World Problems (A Comedy Of Errors)...

Hey Everyone!! :-)

I wrote this a couple of months ago about something that happened with my day job and posted it on Facebook, but I thought it might give you a chuckle, so I'm sharing it here too. Enjoy! :-)

The company I work for: We're going to pay to install and maintain a dedicated business internet line to your home.

Me: Sweet! When?

Company: We'll get back to you.

Me: Okay.

Company: ISP X isn't available where you live.

Me: I know. I never said they were. You didn't ask me what ISPs are available where I live, but here's a list anyway.

Company: The installer is coming the Monday after a holiday weekend. Here are some vague instructions and a number to call if you have questions, but no one's going to answer if you do call because it's late the day before a holiday weekend.

Me: Well, okay, I guess we'll figure it out when the guy gets here.

Cable Installer: We can't provide service to this building.

Me: Your website says your service covers this area, and my company confirmed that with your company.

Installer: Oh, we do. But not this building. I'd have to run a line from the pole to the building.

Me: And you can't do that?

Installer: Well, it will take time.

Me: And you don't have time?

Installer: Well, I guess...

Me: *looks at him*

Installer: *sigh* I guess I'll do it.

Me: Okay, thank you.

Installer: *runs cable diagonally across the entire yard to a different apartment, and then back to my apartment.*

Me: *silently in my head* Ooookkaayyy. I guess that's one way to do it. *out loud* Are you going to bury the cable underground?

Installer: *looks at bright orange cable running across the ground of my entire yard and hanging down over my neighbor's door* No. Someone else will come out to bury it. Make sure it doesn't get cut, or they'll charge you $150 to fix it.

Me: Uh-huh. Okay, I guess. Thank you. *in my head* I guess it's possible to keep a cable on the ground from getting damaged for a couple days. not ideal, but hopefully it will be done soon.*

Different installers, two-man crew, a couple days later: We're here to bury your cable. We'll have to disconnect your service for a few minutes.

Me: *while working and using said service*: Okay, please let me know when I can use it again.

Installers: Okay, you're all set!

Me: *working and not going out to look* Awesome! Thank you.

Me: *finally getting around to looking at "buried" cable* What the actual fuck?!? This isn't buried at all! It's just laid on the ground with a little dirt on it in places.

Me: *calls ISP* Hi, your people said they buried this cable, but it's not buried. Can you please send someone out to bury it properly?

ISP: Sure! We'll get someone right out.

Installer: Can you show me where the cable isn't buried?

Me: *points to several places along the length where the bright orange cable is showing through the brown dirt and a couple places where it's sticking up into the air* All along here.

Installer: Well, ma'am, that looks buried to me.

Me: *incredulous* You can see the bright orange cable. It's not buried, and it's just a matter of time before the rain washes away what little dirt there is or some animal pulls it up, and it either gets cut by a lawnmower or chewed up by an animal.

Installer: Well, we never bury cables any deeper than a couple of inches.

Me: Okay, well, first, that's not deep enough, even if it were buried that deep, but it's not even buried that deeply. You can see the cable sticking up and lying just under the surface.

Installer: I can't see the cable. Those are just dirt clods. It's buried.

Me: Okay, I, too, share the ability with very young children, early-stage dementia patients, and our POTUS to pass basic cognitive skills tests. Consequently, I know my colors. The cable is bright orange; the dirt is brown. It's not difficult to tell them apart.

Installer: Well, I'll bury the part that's sticking up into the air, but the rest of it is buried.

Me: No, it's really not. All it's going to take is one good rainstorm, and it will be completely uncovered. And I'm not going to pay for it if it gets damaged.

Installer: I've been doing this for a million years, and that has never happened.

Me: 😑 Right.

Me: *goes out next morning after it rained that night to look at cable* Well, now it's completely unburied. But I'm not dealing with this anymore. I'm going to call my company's IT department and let them argue with the ISP.

Me: *talking to my company's IT department* Hi, yeah, they said it's buried, but it's not buried. It's only a matter of time before it gets damaged, and I'm not paying for it when it does.

IT: *looking at pictures I emailed them* Okay, we'll contact the ISP, and someone will get back to you.

ISP: *dispatcher calling* I don't know what you want us to do, our installer says it's buried.

Me: Do you want me to send you pictures?

ISP: No, we'll get someone out to look at it.

Me: Okay.

Person to look at it: *several days later* They said it's buried.

Me: Does it look buried to you?

Looker: No.

Me: So, then...?

Looker: I don't know. I'll let them know. Someone will contact you.

Me: Okay.

Me: *calls my company's IT department to let them know what's going on*

IT: Okay someone will contact you.

Person who originally "buried" the cable shows up without anyone contacting me to let me know he's coming: I buried it that way because I didn't want to dig across your yard and hit any other buried lines.

Me: So, then, why don't you not dig across my yard? Why don't you just run the cable from the pole directly to my apartment, rather than to the opposite end on the building and all the way back again?

Installer: *mumbles something unintelligible*

Me: Excuse me?

Installer: I guess I can do that.

Me: Thank you.

Installer: *buries new cable but doesn't connect it. leaves internet hooked up through old cable* You'll have to call the company to get someone to switch it over.

Me: *goes out and looks at new cable* Well, at least it looks like it's actually buried now. And it's running to the correct side of the building. I don't know why it was so difficult to do it right in the first place, though.

Me: *sighs and calls ISP and explains situation*

ISP: Well, if you're having trouble with your modem, you'll have to call your company's IT department to troubleshoot it.

Me: *sigh* I'm not having trouble with my modem. The modem is great. It's sitting on my desk, blinking at me as we speak. It says to say hi. The modem is just fine. The problem is your technician buried a cable but didn't connect it to the box on the outside of the building.

ISP: That doesn't make sense.

Me: Tell me something I don't know.

ISP: Why would he do that?

Me: I don't know. Why don't you ask him?

ISP: I don't know how to fix this. I'll have to send it to dispatch.

Me: Okay.

Me: *calls my company's IT department to let them know what's going on*

Dispatch: *calls me* We can't fix this. We have to escalate it. Someone else will call you.

Me: Okay.

Installer shows up, without anyone calling me first, in the middle of a violent thunderstorm: I can't switch the lines in this.

Me: *lightning streaks across the sky and thunder booms so loud I can barely hear him and rain pours down in buckets* Ya think?

Installer: I'll reschedule for tomorrow.

Me: Okay.

Diffferent Installer comes the next morning: I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

Me: *silently in my head* Now, if that doesn't just sum up your entire fucking company *out loud* You need to disconnect the old line and connect the new one. And you need to pull up the old cable and take it with you.

Installer: Well, I can't dig it up out of the ground.

Me: It's not really buried. You can just pull it up.

Installer: No, it's buried.

Me: *rolls eyes* No, it really isn't.

Installer: So I have to do all that?

Me: Yes.

Installer: *grumbles but gets started*

Me: *goes out to inspect when he leaves* Well, he made as much of a mess as he possibly could pulling up the old wire, but at least it's gone. *goes inside to see if work computer will connect to the VPN* And it seems to be hooked up correctly. So *fingers crossed* maybe this is finally done. It only took three weeks. 🙄

Something Worth Watching?

Hey Everyone!! :-)

I'm back today with another video I wanted to share. With everything that has happened this year, with all the noise and distractions, it's hard to remember to focus on the fact that both parties are serving the predatory class to the detriment of the majority. But it's a fact we can't afford to forget, so please take a few minutes to watch this video and remind yourselves of what's really going on. Peace!

Vegetarian Cassoulet In A #CrockPot #Recipe!

Hey Everyone!! :-)

This is one of my favorite Fall recipes. It takes a little planning, but it always sticks to your ribs and warms you up on a chilly evening. Enjoy! :-)

Ingredients:
6 cups water
4 cups vegetable broth
1 cup white wine (your choice)
4 cups breadcrumbs
1lb cannellini beans
1 30oz can crushed tomatoes
3 onions
5 carrots
4 celery ribs
1 fennel bulb chopped
10 cloves garlic
6 sprigs fresh thyme
1/2 cup fresh parsley chopped
2 bay leaves
2 cloves
1/2 cup olive oil
1/4 cup butter melted
Salt and pepper to taste

Add the water, beans, 1 onion cut in half with one clove stuck in each half, 1 carrot cut in half, 1 rib of celery cut in half, 2 cloves of garlic cut in half, 1 bay leaf, 2 sprigs of thyme, and salt and pepper to taste to the crockpot. Cook on low overnight or cook on high for 4-5 hours or until the beans are tender. Remove and discard all the vegetables, garlic, leaf, and sprigs. Drain the beans and return them to the crockpot.

Chop the remaining onions, celery, and carrots. Finely mince the remaining garlic. Remove the remaining thyme from the sprigs and finely chop or grind the leaves. In a skillet, add half the olive oil, the remaining onions, carrots, celery, 7 cloves of the minced garlic, the fennel, and salt and pepper to taste. Cook until the vegetables soften and start to caramelize and add the contents of the pan to the crockpot. Deglaze the pan with the wine and add it to the crockpot. Add the vegetable stock, remaining bay leaf, thyme, and salt and pepper to taste to the crockpot. Cover and cook on low for 4-5 hours. Add the tomatoes and stir the crockpot contents. Taste and adjust seasoning as necessary. Add additional vegetable stock if it's needed. Cook on low for an additional 4-5 hours.

In a bowl, whisk together the remaining olive oil, garlic, the butter, the parsley, and salt and pepper to taste. Toss in the breadcrumbs and stir or toss until the crumbs are evenly coated. Spread the breadcrumbs out on a baking sheet and bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for approximately 7 minutes. Stir the crumbs and continue to bake for approximately 7 more minutes or until crumbs are golden brown.

Remove and discard the bay leaf and serve the beans and vegetables warm in a bowl and sprinkle some of the breadcrumbs over the top just before serving.

Bon appetit!

Fun & Games...

Hey Everyone!! :-)

I thought I'd just give you a little something to get the weekend started off right. Enjoy! 😉

Excerpt from Captivated by the Winter King:

With a wave of his hand, Ankou closed the door after the cat and pounced on his mate. "I believe she will recover." Rolling Kate beneath him, he captured her face in his hands and looked into her eyes.

Gasping, Kate looked up at her mate. His eyes were glowing black and his incisors had lengthened. She smiled. Her body was already warming for him.

"You're sure?"

She nodded. "Yes, Master."

Rolling off her, he moved to the head of the bed where he kneeled facing her. "I think you know what to do," he echoed her own words back to her.

Licking her lips, Kate got to her hands and knees and crawled to her Anamchara.

Want to find out what happens next? Grab your copy at the link below. Happy reading! 😊

Captivated by the Winter King

 

#APC #Spotlight: Hedge King In Winter: First Tale In The Matter Of Manred By Michael E Dellert!

Hey Everyone!! :-)

I've got Michael E. Dellert in my APC spotlight, today! Michael is an active and supportive member of the Authors-Professional Co-op Facebook group and his sword and sorcery, magical adventure, dark fantasy novel, Hedge King In Winter, looks great!! Here's the description:

The king is crippled. Can his brother hold the kingdom together against the machinations of their rival uncle?

If you think this sounds like something you might enjoy, go ahead and grab your copy here:

Thank you all so much for stopping by! Happy reading! :-)

#Agent Thoth's #Personal Log: Day 1187

Hey Everyone! :-)

Agent Thoth discusses more of the trials and tribulations associated with living with hominids. Incidentally, if you've missed Agent Thoth's earlier entries, you can find them here: Thoth's Journal

Department for the Preservation and Confirmation of Intelligent Life (DPCIL)

Agent Thoth's Personal Log

Day Eleven-Hundred-Eighty-Seven:

My first attempt at encouraging my hominid-servant to pay more attention to my actions has been a dismal failure. In my continuing effort to influence my hominid-servant’s behavior, I have been attempting to adapt the behavior modification technique I successfully used to cause her to change the vessels in which she offers me liquid H2O. The strategy did not work with food, but I had thought it might be successful with regards to convenient perches from which to observe the events that occur outside the portals in the walls of my domicile.

My efforts focused on gaining my hominid-servant’s attention, and then building in her a desire to cause me to alter my behavior. Therefore, I deployed the C.L.A.W.S. and utilized them as a climbing apparatus with which to scale the wall of my domicile. It seemed to me that this would, in turn, cause my hominid-servant to place a more convenient perch near the portal, so as to deter me from damaging the wall with the C.L.A.W.S.

The tactic was successful in that it provoked a response from my hominid-servant; however, the response was not at all what I would have wished. Instead of providing the desired perch, she attacked me with a dispenser of liquid H2O, and not in a convenient container for drinking. She saturated me with the vile substance, and then chased me around my domicile while vocalizing at me at an excessive decibel level.

I will have to rethink this technique and determine if I can find a way to use it to influence my hominid-servant towards desired behaviors and away from undesired behaviors, and not just provoke a random change in behavior that is not at all useful to me. As always, I will report back on any further developments.

Hominids are so difficult to properly train! ;-) You may have noticed that Agent Thoth has a new look. I hope you like his new picture as much as I do, but I'd love to hear your thoughts, either way. Feel free to let me know what you think in the comments. ;-) Happy reading, everyone!